RE: Open All Hours - 80

#1186 by Sheldonboy , Fri Aug 20, 2010 7:56 pm

See Phil I knew you was winding her up.

#1187 by astoness , Fri Aug 20, 2010 8:02 pm

i shall ignore that SB..did you get any work done today then....no chance of me cutting the grass..

#1188 by astoness , Fri Aug 20, 2010 8:02 pm

i shall ignore that SB..did you get any work done today then....no chance of me cutting the grass..

#1189 by astoness , Fri Aug 20, 2010 8:02 pm

i shall ignore that SB..did you get any work done today then....no chance of me cutting the grass..

#1190 by astoness , Fri Aug 20, 2010 8:03 pm

[Laugh Out Loud] how on earth did i repeat myself....??? i only pressed the button once....

#1191 by astoness , Fri Aug 20, 2010 8:05 pm

is it me lads or is the post counter stuck....?????

#1192 by Sheldonboy , Fri Aug 20, 2010 8:07 pm

This is advice for all cat lovers

Washing the toilet bowl
=======================
1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the
water in the bowl.
2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the
bathroom.
3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close the lid.
You may need to stand on the lid.
4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises
that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.
5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a 'power-wash'
and rinse'.
6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are
no people between the bathroom and the front door.
7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift the lid.
8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom,
and run outside where he will dry himself off.
9. Both the toilet and the cat will be sparkling clean.

Yours Sincerely,
The Dog.

#1193 by astoness , Fri Aug 20, 2010 8:16 pm

#1194 by phil ( deleted ) , Fri Aug 20, 2010 8:19 pm

Doesn't everybody wash the cat that way?

#1195 by Sheldonboy , Fri Aug 20, 2010 8:30 pm

Seems like a good idea.

#1196 by phil ( deleted ) , Fri Aug 20, 2010 8:55 pm

A simple explanation of Life.

On the first day God created the Dog and said “Sit all day at the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past, for this I will give you a life span of 20 years”.
The dog said “that’s a long time to be barking, how about only ten and I will give you back ten”

So God Agreed.

On the second day God created the monkey and said “Entertain people, do tricks and make them laugh. For this I will give you a twenty year life span” The monkey said “ Monkey tricks for 20 years? That’s a pretty long time to perform, how about I give you back 10 years like the dog did”?

And God Agreed.

On the third day God created the cow and said “You must go into the field each day with the farmer and suffer all day long under the sun, you will have calves and give milk to support the farmer and his family. For this I will give you a life span of 60 years” The Cow replied “That’s kind of a tough life to live for 60 years how about 20 and I give you back the other 40”.

God Agreed.

On the fourth day God created humans and said “ Eat, sleep, play and marry and enjoy life for this I will give you 20 years” But the human said “Only 20 years, could you possibly give me my 20 the 40 the cow gave back along with the 10 the dog and the monkey returned making 80 in all.

“OK” said God “You asked for it”

So this is why for our first 20 years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. The next 40 we slave in the sun to support our family. Then the next ten we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. For the last ten we just sit and bark at everyone.

#1197 by astoness , Fri Aug 20, 2010 8:59 pm

very good phil..by the way my cats wash themselves..lol

#1198 by Sheldonboy , Fri Aug 20, 2010 9:02 pm

I like that Phil, I'm just getting to the barking phase.

#1199 by astoness , Fri Aug 20, 2010 9:20 pm

im saying nothing SB for fear of incriminating myself...lol

SB..i asked you earlier if you had got any work done today...i took it you were having a go at the decking...

#1200 by phil ( deleted ) , Fri Aug 20, 2010 9:29 pm

I sneaked into the café the other day a took a photo of SB's little diet conscious breakfast.

Phil

Posts:	43.994
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Date registered	02.24.2010

Posts:	15.017
Date registered	02.24.2010

Posts:	15.017
Date registered	02.24.2010

Posts:	15.017
Date registered	02.24.2010


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