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For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on..
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX) Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, 'If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.'
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:
If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part ):
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash........ Twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the motorway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this..
4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.
6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single 'This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation' warning light.
I love the next one!!!
7. The airbag system would ask, 'Are you sure?' before deploying.
8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
10. You'd have to press the 'Start' button to turn the engine off
PS - when all else fails, you could call 'customer service' in some foreign country and be instructed in some foreign language how to fix your car yourself!!!!
Please share this with your friends who love - but sometimes hate - their computer!
They missed out the one about;
When you purchase a car it will state that it is capable of a speed of up to 100 mph. Actually, in most parts of the country you will not be able to go at more than 30 mph, though, at the centre of towns (where of course there is a 30 mph speed limit) it will often be capable of 90 mph
Take either away from me and I probably won't need the other.
By choice I would choose not to have to drive.
I am a man of simple tastes, only the best will do
Oscar Wilde 16 October 1854 30 November 1900
Never had a car, wouldn't want one.
But my computer, this has opened up a whole new world to me.
I learn something new every day. It is my entertainment centre,
My communication centre. It's where I talk to my mates.
Good morning to you all. SB
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